Models Reveal Their Diet Secrets!

Posted in blog post on August 4th, 2011 by Merrill Markoe
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The copy on this ad says “You’ll need a lifetime to experience all the joys of Las Vegas. But if you only had a few incredible days, you’d need a plan to make the most of it.”

And the photo shows us four people who really know how to make a fun plan!

They offer  a lesson to the rest of us in how today’s beautiful people keep off the unwanted pounds! Because of all the things you can do with food, only EATING starts you on the path to gaining weight. So they have learned to see food as a toy! An accessory! A thing to have fun with!

These four have joined together to demonstrate a way to eat out that lets you have a fantastic night on the town and still leave as slim as when you first sat down!  Look how hard they are all laughing! You wouldn’t laugh THAT hard unless you were having the best time ever! And as we can see, they have ordered many many desserts, not for eating but for room decor. They have arranged them in to a picturesque arc around the real attraction: a big group dessert that the whole table can share!  Cotton candy!  I personally have never seen cotton candy listed on a dessert menu at  a restaurant. But that is almost certainly because I do not know the cool places to go, like these four do!

The Cotton Candy for Four dessert is the perfect dessert  because it is both the most fun to play with and the least appealing to actually eat. Look at how the dark haired girl is actually putting it in her hair, which is almost certainly going to cause her to have to leave early when she notices that the spun sugar residue has made the whole top of her head gummy. But that just ADDS to her fun.  By leaving early, she will not have to eat so much as a spoon full of anything at all.

Her date, in the purple shirt, is having just as much fun as she is! He is so convulsed with laughter he had to close his eyes! Even if his dinner companion has to leave early, to keep from attracting ants,  that doesn’t spoil his fun one bit! He has found more entertaining things to do with his silverware than eat! Clearly his date has seen him do this spoon-on-nose trick so many times before that she doesn’t like to encourage him by  looking over at him. And despite this seeming rudeness, when the two of them look back on this special night in Vegas, they will both rate it a success knowing that neither of them consumed a single calorie.

The young man on the far left of the table has made a hilarious mustache out of his cotton candy because he knows that as long as he holds it in place between his lip and nose,  he will not have to make excuses for not eating.

Which brings us to the one girl who appears to have actually taken a bite of the cotton candy. She is a little more subdued than the others because she knows she has made a mistake. But she also realizes that she can quickly spit the whole mouth full back on to that big sloppy plate and no way anyone will even notice! That’s why they serve it all formless in a big messy mound like that!! It is designed to be played with and spit out!

Here in example number 2. three gorgeous gaunt young people have ordered the spaghetti…knowing full well that the risks involved in ordering a dinner full of refined carbs will not apply to them! Not as long as they just HAVE FUN with their food and do not get side tracked by eating. This kind of behavior is so common with models that chefs no longer take it personally when they see beautifully attired people with amazing cheek bones spitting out everything they have ordered.

So the lesson is clear: Models definitely know how to have MORE FUN with their food than you do!

And taking all the drugs they can find  before dinner probably helps quite a bit too.

 

P.S. Ahem. Its not til November but if you’re the kind of person who pre-orders books…(additional coughing) Also Barnes and Noble

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3 Responses to “Models Reveal Their Diet Secrets!”

  1. John says:

    Fit & Fun? Or Fat & Funny Smelling? Not too many models in the latter category.

  2. susanm says:

    #1 The spaghetti- eaters look like part of the Manson Clan
    .#2 I have never in my life had that much fun eating, and I LIKE food!
    #3 I automatically hate groups of happy, squealing, gorgeous young things, hanging out at a swimming hole and having multi -orgasms over Mt Dew. I know it’s not pictured, but it still annoys me.
    #4 I don’t know why I’m using #’s.
    #5. I craved cotton candy at the fair when I was 10. It now makes my teeth gag.
    #6. I’m willing to share my ADHD meds with them.

  3. I saw a plate at Urban Outfitters that has a face on it, encouraging the diner to create hair and moustache designs with the spaghetti instead of eating it. I thought about getting it for my kid, but now I’m thinking about getting it for me. Want in on this trend!

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