In Praise of Lice
Posted in blog post on April 25th, 2009 by Merrill Markoe
In the middle of a world of seemingly endless catastrophes, there is good news for messy people today! First, let me say that I am not endorsing messiness necessarily. I am simply saying that it is an affliction from which I suffer. For my entire life I have struggled on a daily basis not to be encapsulated and eventually suffocated by the enormous stacks of things I do not know where to put. So far, the addition of organizational systems hasn’t helped except to supply me with even more places in which to create stacks. I’m not as bad as those people I see photos of on-line who have their rooms filled floor to ceiling with unopened boxes of things from Ebay. But I do save a lot of stuff that I think is funny. (Here. This is my bathroom.) Combine that tendency with a constant feeling that I am not getting enough accomplished, and you have…well, I have a lot of stuff that needs to be put somewhere. But now, in to this heretofore tumultuous landscape, comes a golden ray of light .
“Research on mice shows that those carrying the most lice had calmer immune systems than uninfested rodents.” says an article in the NY Times this very day.”The finding may have implications for studying the causes of asthma and allergies in people.”
I was raised by two very anal retentive parents, both of whom eventually succumbed to auto immune related ailments. When I was growing up, I was not only constantly upbraided for my messiness but suffered from both allergies and asthma. When both ailments cleared up after I moved away from home, I kind of assumed that maybe they had an emotional core. But now,I am thinking that maybe what was really ailing us all might have just been insufficient lice.
I’m aware that this sounds like the wrong thing to say, but I am kind of thrilled. Developing a fondness for lice has never been on my to-do list up until now. ( but as a dog lover, it isn’t such a bad idea. To say nothing of the fact that where I live there is a constant if intermittent rodent problem. ) So let me sum it up this way: if what we have here is the discovery of a long hoped for upside to messy housekeeping, then I am not just an early adaptor, but also truly blessed.

I just read this particular thread since I’m a relative newcomer to your blog and books.
You mentioned that you liked to collect funny things. Have you ever visited The Onion Store? My favorite category is gift boxes —–http://store.theonion.com/category/decoy-gift-boxes,17/. Make sure you don’t use one of these for someone who won’t appreciate it, and will burn or recycle it immediately after opening.
For example
IFeast pet feeeding & MP3 Station Gift Box
Finally, A Portable Pet Feeding System For Your MP3 Player
Let’s face it. You and your pet don’t share the same “taste” in music. That’s why TechnoPetz created iFeast, the portable pet feeding/watering system for your MP3 player. Meal-time will never be the same for your pet with iFeast.
No, the products aren’t real. But the empty boxes are. Wrap your otherwise forgettable gift in an Onion Decoy gift box, and watch their faces fall when they realize there is no such thing as a pet feeding docking station for an overly pampered pet- just crappy bric-a-brac inside you waited until the last moment to buy.
Box dimensions: 12″x9″x4″
Sold individually or in multi-box sets.
Pretty great! I love the Onion. They are consistently hilarious.