what the dogs have taught me

This book of short hopefully funny essays is not only a re-issue of the best pieces from the original What the Dogs Taught Me but also includes my favorite pieces from the now defunct How to be Hap Hap Happy Like Me. And on top of that, there are a bunch of brand new pieces! (Including one on the hair and clothing demands made by my current relationship. And an in-depth, discussion with my dog Puppyboy on the topic of his OCD-like ball habit.)

Among the other pieces, I chat with animal communicators (and evaluate their accuracy), try to learn about my past lives by being hypnotized, interview to become a stun gun saleswoman, attend one workshop that teaches how to start your own internet porn site, and another on how to be a dominatrix. I also share my hard won hints on how to pick a restaurant based solely on superficial observations about decor, my important secrets for throwing a party when you are kind of the opposite of Martha Stewart, and tips on how to shower with your dog. And if all that weren’t enough, there are 34 other pieces on assorted sundry or dog-related topics that I have better sense than to test your patience by listing here. (well, okay. One more. What to do while waiting for the world to end.)

Praise for What the Dogs Taught Me and How to be Hap Hap Happy like me.

Merrill Markoe has a keen eye for the little lunacies of modern living. Hers is a special talent, desperately needed these days.

—The New York Times

You will gain an appreciation of the silly from which you may never recover, You may begin to collect windup toys at airports , catalogs of exotic nightwear and unemplyment ads for stun gun salesmen.

—Time

Markoe is the funniest woman in America and, please, let’s have no arguing, okay?

—People

Hip, hilarious, a neurotic’s delight. Markoe presents a stupefyingly funny guide to the universe and everything in it.

—Houston Post