Merrill Markoe’s Guide to Love

Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love

Merrill Markoe's Guide to Love

When I wrote this book I was single and decided to evaluate the accumulated wisdom of our culture on the topic of love. I thought I would see what, if anything, could be learned. With that in mind I attended every love related seminar that was available in the Greater Los Angeles area over a period of a couple of years. I went to A LOT of them.   I also read and analyzed every book I could find on the subject, including books on chemistry , the content of Hallmark cards and a mail order tome on astral projection (which suggested that a good risk free alternative to the problems of being single and dateless is hooking up with the available astral body dudes on the astral plane.)

I guess what I am trying to say is that there is actual information to be found in this book among all the opinions expressed by the author. Not all of it is sane. But I’m glad I attended all those seminars and workshops when I did, because now I am not likely to ever go near one again. If you read this book, then you will not have to invest all that time and/or money and/or personal humiliation either. This kind of seminar is very amusing in theory. It is more nervewracking when you look down and see that you are in fact sitting there.

Not only was I brave enough to sit through classes called “How to be Irresistible” and “Secrets of Seduction,” but one that turned out to be a course in oral and manual sex in which all students received a latex dildo on which to practice. I also followed an ad for a Love Psychic which led to an afternoon in a dark room full of stuffed animals with a fifty something man whose marbles I was afraid to count from the minute I sat down across from him. I made him leave the door to his apartment open just in case I needed for my screams to be heard.

By the way, that is not a nipple showing thru a wool coat on the front cover.  Come on.  Who has nipples THAT muscular? Well, okay, maybe THAT guy, but not me.

Praise for Merrill Markoe’s Guide to Love.

Markoe went to all the places we have wondered about but wished somebody else would go and then come back and tell us what happened. The result is this hilarious collection of essays. Markoe’s observations will ring true for women everywhere.


his is not only an extremely informative book, but one of the funniest I have read in a long time.

—The Boston Globe

The perils of love run hilariously amok in Merrill Markoe’s Guide to Love. Disguising itself as part self help text and part comic commentary, Guide dissects the beast that is The Relaionship with amusing candor.


Painfully funny. Markoe’s love guide is a refereshingly tart antidote to The Rules and all those other relationship self help books aimed at women. It deserved to be a best seller.

—The San Diego Union Tribune

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