A Holiday Greeting from E! The Entertainment Network!

Posted in blog post on November 23rd, 2009 by Merrill Markoe
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I just got home from a week in Ohio and Indiana though it will take me a few more days before the driving, flying and attending family functions actually goes in to remission.  But as I sit here going through my e mails, trying to regain the focus required to resume and also finish writing my book , I can not help but be pre-occupied by the following:

Of all the things I envisioned for my life from childhood on, I never once imagined that I would be no degrees of separation from something like this:


Hello Ms. Markoe,
I am a producer for a new special for E! called “Doomed by Lust”.  One of our stories will cover the David Letterman extortion case. We are touching on the subject of women who have spoken out about him and we wanted to see about using your photo on our show.  In addition if you have any photos you would like to license of Mr. Letterman we would love to talk to you about that. Please feel free to contact me via phone or email to discuss this further.  We are moving very quickly so if you could get back to me soon it would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best regards,
Sharon Sanders, Associate Producer
E! Entertainment Television

Name: Sharon Sanders
Email: ssanders@comcastnets.com

Come on! Did I really just get an e mail from something called “DOOMED BY LUST”? I mean, I’ve made some ditsy romantic decisions in my day, but at no point do I recall dating Ted Bundy. This stuff is so headed for a subplot next time I write a novel.

“Doomed By Lust” might be my nomination for the single funniest name of something ever.

Here are three photos from my trip to the midwest:eat fish every dayFooMy feet stank cropped

17 Responses to “A Holiday Greeting from E! The Entertainment Network!”

  1. I love that you share this stuff …

    What was your answer?

    • SusanM says:

      I too would love to hear (see) your response.
      Give me a break–“Doomed by Lust”?
      It sounds like the title of a Lifetime movie or one of those old After-School specials.

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      I guess I posted it because the title DOOMED BY LUST made me laugh out loud. My answer was : Sure! Where do I sign? I can’t wait to take out a full page ad in Variety that says “See me tonight on Episode Six of DOOMED BY LUST”.

      I said no.

  2. Susan Mac says:

    Oh what Fun, Ms. Markoe!!! You should tell Sharon S. that you think she has balls of steel and a heart of gold. You can also tell her (Very confidentially) that you’re in the most sensitive position of being in love with not only Andy but Dave as well — it never ended. Where Have they been? Is their vetting department McCainesque?? Andy accepted long ago that he’d always be second fiddle to Dave. And it’s all the Honest Truth. It’s you, Merrill, who is Doomed by Lust — not Mr. L. — so Actually, they should bag the whole project because they don’t know what they’re talking about.

    • Susan Mac says:

      oh, i see you already said no — too bad. i still think that you should screw with them more…

  3. Susan Mac says:

    By the way, I haven’t seen any hints about the subject of your upcoming book. Are there any snippets you can share?

  4. Cathy says:

    Doomed by Lust! That’s very rich. Could be the inspiration for a full-blown Lifetime series, Touched by an A*#hole (do I get in trouble for saying that?).
    Yeesh. Tell these people enough with Dave stuff.
    I’m dying to hear about your next book. I don’t have a dog yet — worried about not having enough time — but get my fixes from living in a dog friendly building and reading your books. Please keep writing.

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      I now think “Touched by an A*#hole” is the funniest title for something I ever heard.
      My new book is a collection of short hopefully funny pieces on a variety of subjects. So far there’s some dog stuff , a section on narcissism and narcissistic parents, some memoir-anecdote type stuff, some essays on life’s little irritants, at least one actual short story and a kind of a long parody of Twilight. It’s a potpourri! I am tentatively thinking of a title like “Crazy Moms and Talking Dogs.”

      • Cathy says:

        So nice of you to respond with a book synposis. Looking forward to your always hysterically funny slant on things.

  5. mandor says:

    Perhaps it is time to clarify to gossip news sources everywhere whether or not you were either lured or doomed by lust.

    And am I reading the sign in that last picture correct? MY FEET STANK?

    Merrill replies:
    1. Well, what card carrying female in good standing has not to some extent been at least intermittently doomed by lust.
    2. Yes. “My Feet Stank.” (Talk about someone who was doomed by lust!)

    • Margaret says:

      1)I think I’ve seen the graffiti artist’s dirty socks for sale on eBay.

      2) I’ve had lust doom twice and it’s no laughing matter. I’m currently recovering from swine flu as well.

      3) I’d love to see you write a whole book about narcissism, I really would. I’m sure there are books available on the topic, but it needs the Merrill Markoe treatment. I always understood the basic definition of the word, but it wasn’t until later in life that I started picking up on the disguises it wears. It’s so much easier to sort out the people in your life when you have keen narcissism radar.

      It’s a serious topic, but talk about material for comedy…it can be hilarious – like an interview I read with a former talk show host whose name I won’t mention but she’s married to a former football player and she did a show with Regis and her initials are KLG. When she was asked if she missed doing her show, she answered that the only time she really missed it was after 9/11 because she no longer had a platform.



      • Merrill Markoe says:

        Obviously I totally agree with you about narcissism detection. It has become one of the underlying themes of my existence. I tried to parse what i know in to some hopefully funny, informative and manageable sections in the new book. But I don’t think I can write a whole book about it without going back to school and becoming a psychologist. Because, you know, I just don’t have the time. I have so much sitting and staring to take care of.
        I love the Kathie Lee quote. I have a section in one of my new pieces (for the new book) that features great narcissistic quotes by people’s family members. I was actually thinking maybe I should instigate a thread of them in the narcissism piece that is elsewhere on this website because I enjoy them so much. Among the all time great ones is the response from one friend’s mother who, upon being told that her daughter was molested replied “Really? Do you think I was?”

      • Becky says:

        Margaret – I agree with you that Merrill needs to write a book about narcissism that’s titled “Touched by an A**hole” because that’s what I feel like I’ve fallen for a narcissist’s charismatic charms only to find myself standing knee deep in their crap after all is said and done.

        I have a degree in clinical social work (comes in handy for interviewing folks as I look for stories behind the facts) and Merrill’s post “Enough about You” was the best thing I’ve read that really captured the topic. We can blab on and on and on about borderline personality disorder, sexual addiction and other psychological traits that narcissists possess in varying forms. But it wasn’t until I was reading this post that a lot of threads all of a sudden came together in this really screwed up looking quilt. The underlying thread to all of the people who make me crazy is that they’re narcissists pure and simple. They won’t change but the one thing that can change is how I interact with them. Now I see the pattern very clearly and can take definite steps to identify someone as a narcissist and behave appropriately so I am no longer getting screwed personally and professionally. Sometimes we need a little less clinical crud and more straight from the hip talk form someone who hasn’t been totally Oprah-cized.

        A series of stories that only Merrill can tell would rock and educate us all. Just my two cents.

  6. SusanMac says:

    Stinky Feet Lust — just a book title suggestion…. might be catchy, romantic yet steamy…. :]

    • SusanMac says:

      I’ll just reply to myself and say that nothing can compare with Touched by an A*#hole. And I’m looking forward to Merrill’s latest book on the unfortunate topic of narcissism. Wish my mother Could learn to heal herself and back off narcissistically, but at least I Have learned that she won’t/can’t change her ways. Humor is a great educational device — onward and upward….

  7. Bring on the quotes! A compilation will delight us and simultaneously irritate the narcissists. A win-win, in other words.

    As the eldest of three children I foolishly tended to take it personally when my mother told me (repeatedly and from age 3 on !) that “having children ruined” her and my father’s lives.

    Eventually I learned to respond with, “Yeah, mine too.”

    But probably the crowning example would be on my sixteenth birthday: Her dinner table toast: “Having you children ruined our marriage. We had such fun before you were born. But Happy Birthday anyway, hon.”

    And then my father “gifted” me with an unwrapped, pre-read (by him), oops-I-forgot “present” of Truman Capote’s “In Cold Blood.” Seriously.

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      Those are fantastic. I especially love the birthday toast. Its fantastic.
      You have convinced me. I just put up a page by the narcissism piece to see if I can collect a bunch. If for no other reason than it will amuse us both. And provide a forum for the puzzled friends and relatives of those wacky narcies. I also added your comment to it to get the neurotic ball rolling.