Moving right along

Posted in blog post on October 9th, 2009 by Merrill Markoe

First, I want to thank all the people who wrote to me. That was really fun. A little less fun, but exciting in its own way, was the appearance this past week of reporters in my driveway. I gave the woman from the N.Y. Post a lovely sugar free popsicle and the reception was so good that I tried to do the same for the guy from Manchester, England . Sadly, turned out I had some freezer problems in the interim. The one I offered him had melted and refrozen all over the stick, which I was fine with offering him anyway until his facial expression and the accompanying one of the man I live with  made me re-think the gesture. So he got a diet coke.

Moving right along… I wanted to get back on the horse and post something here as a kind of sorbet between courses. However I don’t have anything new ready to go. In addition to the other weirdness this week, I also had jury duty. I know. Excuses excuses.  I’m a lucky girl because who doesn’t love to participate in the American jurisprudence system.

I guess I better get busy doing some new work. Or at least  buy some new popsicles. One last thing, unrelated . But I just got back from my gym where they have gone all out decorating for Halloween. By which I mean decapitated heads and bloody limbs at the reception desk and a  life sized battery operated corpse that cackled “Welcome to the court of the Undead.” every time I did a sit up and disturbed its light sensor.  I couldn’t help thinking to myself, “Is this really the right holiday to celebrate here? I’m not sure I am comfortable belonging to a health club that prides itself on being ‘the court of the undead.’.” Then I grabbed a hand full of candy out of a screaming skull and went home.

Anyway–back soon. Meanwhile  enjoy, if you will, The Hearty Drinking Men.


10 Responses to “Moving right along”

  1. Barb says:

    Wow. I’m a bit disturbed that, up until the ‘Monkey Asks Why?’ headline (which I wish I’d thought of for a Facebook status update) I’d believe it if it appeared on CNN with no laugh track. Is it wrong of me to hope the moon fights back in enraged meteor-like fashion? I hope it hits us and hits us hard. I really do.

  2. Cathy says:

    Nothing like popsicles and papparazzi. Glad you made lemonade out of the situation. As one of your many PDS (pre-Dave scandal) fans, I’m keeping my fingers crossed this could pay you dividends. Like you could write the next great female character for cable (or give them one you already have — I’m sure you know who I’m thinking) while Animal Planet does something with “What the Dog’s Have Taught Me.” (Yes, I do remember “Who Gets the Dog?” and thought that while this wasn’t the best showcase for your wit, your love for the great and small shone through in a smarty-pants, Francine of Assisi kind of way).
    Which leads me to your essay, “Something Extremely Imporant.” I was reading WTDHTM four or five years ago when my husband overheard my muffled laughs escalate to all-out hysterical wheezes which got worse as I tried to explain what was so friggin’ funny. I had to wait a day before I regained enough composure to read the passage of Puppyboy’s meltdown out loud.

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      Thanks for the nice thoughts. This past summer I made a short film of ‘Something Extremely Important.’ I thought I should do it while the original cast (Puppyboy) is still around and in shape to perform. It also has Todd Hanson of The Onion in a co-starring role. Not sure what to do with it so maybe I will just post it here.

  3. Becky says:

    Love how you offered sugar free products to those who were pestering you. I might have been tempted to sic’d the dogs on them except as you’ve demonstrated via video, your dogs would probably end up sniffing and licking the media. Not sure how you rid of that tabloid stench though I suspect it’s probably similar to a good de-skunking.

  4. Rebecca says:

    I’ve always wondered why people don’t do the obvious thing when the press show up asking for a comment and/or photo op…Send a representative out to form a cue and charge $$$ per word and picture (cash only) Real estate rental while they remain on your property is by the minute. Time is money isn’t it?? You could throw in the Popsicle as a perk. For a $1000 donation they could have a catered lunch with you and the dogs. Sounds fair to me.

  5. Barb says:

    I’ve always wanted to be on the jury of a gruesome murder trial, or at least marry a homicide cop so I could go through his files at night. What girl hasn’t?

    My dad has a never-fail way of getting asked – nay, thrown – off the jury pool should you be called again Merrill. He’s been solicited about 10 times. No matter what the alleged crime in question (he’s been asked for drug dealing to loitering) he always responds to the question “should the defendant be found guilty what is in your view an appropriate punishment?” with “execution.” He’s got a rep in the Toronto ‘burbs now, but he says it’s been worth it. He’s also known for reporting neighbours with ‘eyesores’ in their backyards, but that’s a whole other story no one’s asked me to tell.



  6. Stacy says:

    I remember reading somewhere years ago about how you were always being asked about Dave, and you said something to the effect of “Why don’t they ask one of his 150 other girlfriends ? ”
    At the time I thought you were joking…now it seems like a good estimate.
    I always had a crush on him since college and am disappointed to find out about his sex addiction or whatever it is.
    I saw you being interviewed by him once and I always wondered if he would really buy you the wall-to-wall carpet you asked for.

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      I don’t remember being invterviewed by him and asking for wall to wall carpeting…but that certainly is one of the hallmarks of my amazing success. I really know how to set my sights high.

  7. Tom Sullivan says:

    I’m very suspicious of this whole blackmail story.
    I believe the writers just ran out of ideas and have started stealing plotlines from other programs.
    Didn’t the exact same thing already happen on The Larry Sanders Show?
    I think it was funnier when they did it.
    They even had the same actor playing Halderman.

  8. Barb says:

    You are a cynical man, Mr. Tom! Did Larry Sanders appear on The Insider? Was Entertainment Tonight all over his ass? WAS PEOPLE MAGAZINE ON THE CASE?

    I didn’t think so.