On the road: I got recognized. Unfortunately it was here…

Posted in blog post on November 17th, 2009 by Merrill Markoe

Demon chld and dino babyAt The Creation Museum in Kentucky, a place where a little information goes a long way because, well, that’s what they make available and also you know… its God’s will. And because that’s the premise of the museum– to offer the creationist view of the world. On the plus side, it was art directed by someone from Universal studios so its got some very nice animatronics.

Like I’ve always said: I have the most useless amount of fame. It doesn’t necessarily get me career opportunities or tickets to events. It just causes a few people to eye me suspiciously.

Truth is, I love places like The Creation Museum. For example, the tableau that greets you at the entrance ( see  photo number one ) in which a “Bride of Chucky’ like child , wearing a buck skin sun dress, feeds a carrot to a squirrel while smallish and presumably friendly dinosaurs frolick all around her in a primeval garden at the dawn of time, 6000 years ago. Now that’s what I call total entertainment.

A little less enjoyable was one of the directors of the place who followed us out to the car and wanted to know if my name was Merrill and if I was a comedian. He also wanted to find out why I was there and what I was planning. I don’t know why he would think  I needed more of a motive to be there than a chance to see life-sized dioramas of people living amongst the dinosaurs, (and their mutual voyage with Noah on the Ark.)Baby dinos on the ark I for one had never realized that the eventual extinction of the dinosaurs might have come from them being over- hunted by humans!(Or, alternatively, that there might have been a possible change in the eco-system; kind of an odd after-thought by God, I guess, after he had gone to considerable trouble to help save them all from the flood. Those heavenly mood swings! It’s not like we haven’t  been dealing with them since the dawn of time 6000 years ago! We should be used them by now!

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Although as a whole we still suck at predicting them…as is clearly  depicted in the pictures  below of the part of the exhibit that reviews and summarizes some of the abominations of man’s descent. For example: The internetMan truth whateverThe evil internet.

If you are someone who does not find  Sarah Palin to be an arrogrant megalomaniac with no awareness of her own severe intellectual limitations, this might be the step by step presentation of the creation of the world for you!

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22 Responses to “On the road: I got recognized. Unfortunately it was here…”

  1. Susan says:

    scary; i shouldn’t have read this stuff right before bed…. “Those heavenly mood swings!” is a fine line, Merrill.

  2. andrea says:

    Words fail.

  3. mdingo98 says:

    (like i tell my kids) DON’T YOU WHATEVER ME!

    • Susan says:

      It’s amazing that someone recognized you in Kentucky. You should be flattered.
      I’ll start to call myself SusanM since there is another Susan also,

      • Susan Mac says:

        Sorry, Susan, but I’m a Susan M. as well. Darn. I can be Susan Mac, and you can be Susan (or Susan M, your choice), especially since you won the dick joke competition. But then I can give it a belated try and say that if some nice, long, hard carrots were added to the beet salad recipe — that would be another one of my lame attempts at a joke… You still win.

        Anyway, since I really like Merrill’s blogs (and can’t wait to try the beet salad recipe, for instance), I’m going to change my name to Susan Mac so that we can blog clearly. Ok?

      • SusanMac says:

        Hi Susan, I’ve just changed my name to SusanMac to avoid confusion since I’m another Susan M. Feel free to stick with Susan OR Susan M — your choice, espcially since you won that recent “bone humor competiton” on this site!

      • Merrill Markoe says:

        I am starting to think I owe one or both of you a prize now. Even though I think it was Andrea K. who came up with the idea. When I decided to start this blog I really hadn’t thought this prize thing through properly. You’re all going to have a to wait a while why I figure it out. RIght now the only thing I have is a cap from the Creation Museum and I think Andy has taken a shine to it.

  4. SusanM says:

    “It’s amazing that someone recognized you in Kentucky. You should be flattered.”
    I just realized that sounded rude, but I didn’t mean it that way. I won’t continue to blather on. I’ll shut up now.

  5. SusanMac says:

    Regarding a prize thing, if you find another gorgeous flip flop frame, I claim dibs on it. I just had another “love miscarriage” with a man who turned out not to be that into me (hence I’m writing way too late at night). It’s not his fault that it just didn’t fit for him, but it would be a relief to throw the flip flop at the wall instead of breaking a truly useful plate. Just a thought, sniff snifff…..
    (Some gourmet beet salad would probably help a lot, really.) Humm, I should write a blog like Julie Powell and turn it into millions — 365 days of lost love comfort food that Won’t blow you up into a balloon. hummmmm.

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      Thats a good idea for a book. Sorry about your bad guy. I got through a lot of bad romantic interludes with power yoga. It takes a while to get used to, but its an amazing mood changer. (Also: sake.)

      • Susan Mac says:

        Glad you like my brilliant book idea — writing about life’s snafus would be an antidepressant for me. But the power yoga recommendation sounds great, too, and I’m going to try some power walking today. About the sake, I’ve never tried the stuff, but I’ve always liked the bottle designs that I’ve seen in Trader Joe’s and will try it in moderation as with food. However, the best thing always, to me, is a great belly laugh, so Please keep up the Palin jabs, social commentary from you and your dogs, etc., and that will be a great mood booster. Thanks so much just for your reply.

  6. SusanM says:

    Wait- I’m really confused- Susan Mac, were you the one called Susan until I f ***d things up, or is there another one? Let’s ask our teacher to assign us names (or not). I’m willing to go by anything.

    • Susan Mac says:

      Yes, SusanM, I’m 99% sure that I’m the “one called Susan,” and you very appropriately wanted to differentiate the Susans. Then I complicated things by saying that I’M a Susan M as well — sorry. The Blog Meister can advise if needed, but I’m just going to stick with Susan Mac unless somebody screams otherwise. If you chose any name Other than Susan Mac, all should be fine, I believe.

  7. SusanM says:

    Oh, I forgot- What in the name of Sarah Palin is a flip flop frame? If you think everyone should have one, I can always buy it retail.

    • Susan Mac says:

      Oh wow — see Merrill’s blog, “I’m on EBAY selling something hideous.”
      Posted October 28th, 2009

      You have to see it to believe it (a photo is included!!!), but somebody actually made a small picture frame out of a hideous flip flop sandal thingie that Ms. Markoe put on EBay. So go to the Oct. 28th blog for all the details! — you’ll remember it immediately if you already read that story.

      • Susan Mac says:

        Oh, and one more thing — make Sure to click on the link: “Next, they put the thing up for sale on ebay” to get the superb description that Merrill made to sell this ugly thing. I just reread it and got the belly laugh that I needed!

      • SusanM says:

        I saw it! I would love to meet the person who bought it, and see how she explains it to her friends.
        I wonder what I could sell. There’s no way I could come up with a description like that. What genius!

    • SusanMac says:

      “what in the name of Sarah Palin” = another award-winning phrase — you’d better patent it Soon…!!

  8. SusanM says:

    When you said the director followed you out to the car, after someone recognized you as a writer, It made me think of an incident in a tiny town in southern Utah.I was visiting friends who had no tv or newspaper delivery. I didn’t want to hog their computer catching up on the news, so I went downtown to look for a newspaper, maybe from Salt Lake City or even St. George,
    I should mention that this was a predominantly Morman town. I could find NO newspaper, and when I inquired someone asked, “you mean a weekly one?” One kind person directed me to a book store. No luck, except- I saw a t shirt on display that said, “Touch me not, for I have not yet completed my mission!”. I immediately decided I wanted to buy it for my nephew. His younger sister was dating a Morman teenager back here in the east, and my nephew had asked her if she had seen her boyfriend’s “sacred underwear ” yet.
    Suddenly I was stricken with remorse and guilt, for frivolously buying a funny sovenior (sp) from the sweet, elderly clerk. But I KNEW my nephew would love it. What a conflict! I ended up not buying it out of guilt, but I’ve been sorry forever! She wouldn’t have known. What was my problem? From now on when something amuses me, I’m going to write it down or take a picture

    • Merrill Markoe says:

      All I want in life is that shirt. My advice to you is: Never let another opportunity to buy something great like that pass you buy again,