Narcissists Say the Darndest Things: Great Quotes by Narcissists

Posted in writing on November 25th, 2009 by Merrill Markoe
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This is a page on which I hope you, the person who knows an annoying narcissist, will contribute a little something. I am seeking a collection of great memorable quotes by the narcissist in your life. I want the quote that makes your head spin and your mouth hang open with its egomaniacal cluelessness; The quote that you fish out to tell your uncomprehending friends at dinner parties in order to better describe the problem you have had with this person.newyorker-cartoon

To get the ball rolling I will give a few examples. The first is from my own mother whose comment, after reading the first professional piece of writing that I finished, was “Well, I don’t happen to care for it but I pray I’m wrong.” A close second goes to her follow up reply, after a request that she withhold any more criticism if she wanted me to show her anything else; “No more criticism? If I can’t criticize you, what am I supposed to talk about? The weather?”

Another good example comes from a mother of someone I know who commented, after being told that her daughter was molested, “Oh my God! Do you think I was?”

Okay: Your turn.

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700 Responses to “Narcissists Say the Darndest Things: Great Quotes by Narcissists”

  1. Laura says:

    My father-in-law is an amateur painter. One day we were driving past a landscape he had painted from. He was very enthused and wanted to share it with us. As we approached, instead of pointing to the beautiful landscape, he instead pointed across the road and exclaimed, “Just imagine seeing me painting there!”

  2. Lance says:

    While trying to save her relationship with her father, my wife met with him and showed him literature on narcissistic personality disorder. After giving him a description of narcissistic behavior and urging him to read the symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, he looked at my wife and said, “Now who are you saying has this, you or me?”

  3. Sheila says:

    In the middle of a nonstop conversation at the bar at Taboo in Palm Beach with a friend and the gentleman next to us interrupts us, talks about himself for 20 minutes straight and then says he “used to be a narcissist” but he actually trained himself not to be a narcissist. Thank God his phone finally rang or he would never have stopped talking about himself.

  4. Melissa says:

    While my house was in the middle of burning down, (I lived about 2 blocks away) as I am watching it, my mother runs up to me hugs me, tells me she was so worried, and then in the same breath begans to scold me for not doing the dishes after I had dinner over there a few nights before. I just looked at her in disbelief

  5. tanya says:

    My N…or what I suspect to be my Narc boyfriend always says this stuff to me.
    ” you don’t know how to forgive”
    “Just be nice”
    “You’re a mean hater”
    “Go to mamby pamby land and get some self confidence”
    “I don’t know whay you’re talking about”
    “Quit lieing about me”
    “You’re too sensitive”
    “Face it you’re just like your mom”
    “You’re mom raised you to be unforgiving”
    “You’re dad leaving is why you’re so insecure”
    “Youre acting like a victim”
    “You’re the narcissist”
    “Christians are judgemental haters”
    “Ill do the opposite of what you tell me to do”
    “I’m always right would you want to be w someone who is always wrong”
    “You’re anger made me leave/cheat/lie”
    “You’re angry all the time”
    Ugh..these are just a few of the things I’ve repeatedly been told over the yrs. I could go on but its exhausting just writting it.

  6. I agree says:

    After getting me to move in w/ my two girls, later says “i liked your house more” (wtf???),costing me my job (i had four raises in four years) then saying he “cant have a girlfriend without a job”, telling repo where my car was,(right before my taxes came in), and said your so needy
    Sends a formal text message eviction (once i say im pregnant), dosent lift a finger to help move me and my girls out just watches with his feet up on the porch as my elderly dad with two torn rotator cuffs and mom with knee replacement daughters 16&6 says claims “Shes lying shes not pregnant, shes a drama queen”,says “that bitch stole $x,xxx from me” as i head to my brothers attic to share 15×20′ room with my poor girls, i meet up w him at resturant he suggested because of my dietary needs to show him pregnancy letter and he says “i suppose you think i owe you lunch” infront of waitress then says “she thinks i should buy her lunch cuz shes knocked up”, follows me to car to hand me $20!, moves another girl into his house but said “im single, and loyal” followed by “what? You didnt think i would find someone?” And cake taker….homeless, jobless, carless, pregnant and he says “im so sick of this, its just NOT FUN ANYMORE”!!!!!! So many more so, so many more.

  7. Kelly says:

    I was unemployed, single, and had a kid in college. Then I was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. I asked my (wealthy, single, NPD) father for a loan of $5,000 to hold me over through the first months, until I could figure things out. He came to my house and yelled at me because I didn’t understand how much my cancer was stressing him out and how could I ask him for money at a time like this.

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