Tags: commercials, contest, Doritos, Merrill Markoe, Super Bowl
Okay, I know it is The Superbowl next Sunday. And I know this, even though I don’t watch any sports. There. I said it. None. Nothing. And I am fortunate enough to now live with a man who shares my lack of interest. (In fact, just last night he said to me “Who is playing this year? Is it the Spiders versus The Coconuts?”)
If there is one thing I do even less than watch sports, it is enter contests. At least not since I was eight. Even then, it has seemed like an exercise in exploring Fran Lebowitz’s comment about entering The Lottery (“I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.”). Nevertheless, for some insane reason in 2009, when I saw that there was a contest that offered a prize of a million dollars for making a Dorito commercial that was supposedly going to air on The Superbowl, I had a momentary brain white out and decided to enter. ”No way I can be the worst person entering this contest.” I said to myself, I said, I said, ” And who knows? Maybe I will be one of the best!”
And thus did I throw myself in to this delusional headwind, and spend one crazed weekend making a theoretical Dorito commercial. I should add at this point that I didn’t prepare for my task by studying existing Dorito commercials to make sure that I was playing the correct ball park. No no….None of those creativity restrictions for me. So, that wasn’t smart. I should have done my research. But instead, inspired by my own idea, I just leaped forward. And I did this despite the fact that I don’t even like Doritos. Where salty snacks are concerned, Doritos have never been in my top twenty. Looking back, that probably didn’t work in my favor either.
Still, I very much liked the idea of winning a million dollars. So come with my now to the golden year of 2009 as we look at my hypothetical theoretical Dorito commercial . . CommericalDorito Commerical
Come on…you have to give it up for my Dorito trees!
I carefully waded through many bags of Doritos in order to select just the ones with a big loopy fold so I could organically drape them over my plants. Proving once again that you can take the girl out of the art school, but you can’t take the art school out of the girl. In fact, since I’m reviving this whole memory for my own humiliation, I’d like to now re visit some highlights of my Dorito plants. Andy (who also supplied the voice over) thinks that we would have won if we had referred to the raw, still-to-be-picked fruits of the Dorito plant as “DORTS”.
I could be wrong, but somehow I don’t think this would have changed anything.
ALSO: Ahem…BUY MY BOOK. BUY MY BOOK.
Here’s the cover! Looks great, right?