Narcissists Say the Darndest Things: Great Quotes by Narcissists

Posted in writing on November 25th, 2009 by Merrill Markoe
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This is a page on which I hope you, the person who knows an annoying narcissist, will contribute a little something. I am seeking a collection of great memorable quotes by the narcissist in your life. I want the quote that makes your head spin and your mouth hang open with its egomaniacal cluelessness; The quote that you fish out to tell your uncomprehending friends at dinner parties in order to better describe the problem you have had with this person.newyorker-cartoon

To get the ball rolling I will give a few examples. The first is from my own mother whose comment, after reading the first professional piece of writing that I finished, was “Well, I don’t happen to care for it but I pray I’m wrong.” A close second goes to her follow up reply, after a request that she withhold any more criticism if she wanted me to show her anything else; “No more criticism? If I can’t criticize you, what am I supposed to talk about? The weather?”

Another good example comes from a mother of someone I know who commented, after being told that her daughter was molested, “Oh my God! Do you think I was?”

Okay: Your turn.

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745 Responses to “Narcissists Say the Darndest Things: Great Quotes by Narcissists”

  1. Erin Lawrence says:

    I could go on and on and on and on, about some of the “wisdom” that has come out of the mouth of my narcissistic hubby…
    In fact, just today he told me: “I know I treat you like s%*t, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”
    It would be kinda hilarious if it wasn’t so very sad.
    I’m sure most of you know, that a narcissist can contradict themselves 22 times in a 6 word sentence. For example: “HOW DARE YOU RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME! I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW RUDE YOU ARE!” He’s screaming at me, not to scream at him…
    And don’t point that out to him if you don’t want to be homeless, or in a casket…

  2. MJ says:

    My sister’s wedding vows.
    I promise i will love you. I will take care of you, I will honor you etc
    You love me, you will take care of me, you will ….

    This 3rd marriage lasted less than one year.

  3. Patty says:

    My sister (narcissist) always says “They just love me”. — It might be the people in a club or at her employment — pretty much everywhere… “They just love me”.

  4. Mary says:

    Holy cow, these are scary. Erin-I used to rent a room from a woman who was a narcissist. You’re right about the double standard. The “Don’t raise your voice to me” was said in a low tone, but if I stood up for myself she would fly into a narcissistic rage and, trust me, she was raising her voice. I told her once to “be nice,” and she replied “I don’t want to be nice.” A few months later I said “I don’t want to be nice” to her. Her reply? “Well, if you can’t be nice…” Wack job.

  5. Gemala says:

    My husband yells at his kids, will say such mean & hateful things to them. I asked him to stop because it reminded me of my father, “it’s not my fault you have daddy issues.” Another time I was crying trying to explain why I was upset “I rather die than listen to what you have to say.”

  6. Lucindie says:

    Context: Oldest child of an emotionally absent, self-involved, narccissistic,impulsive father in his 50’s. Not only am I trying to figure out how to deal/not deal, I get to see how the lying, empty promises and total self absorption affect my young siblings(ages 7-29) from 2nd, 3rd marriages. It breaks my heart. I am the oldest at 32. (He is now on his 4th marriage- 2 ended in divorce,(the last two marriages of which he cheated.) Third wife just died from Stage IV cancer 2 months ago.) He remarried 8 days later.

    Re: Wife #4

    Dad: I have exciting news, I “needed somone to take care of (little brother) so I went and got married!! ( He calls me to tell me at work that he eloped. I had just refreshed the water in the sympathy flowers a co-worker had given me. I am staring at them and silently cursing him).
    Me: &^%!
    Dad: You dont have a right to be upset. I did this in the best interest of little brother.

    Me: I don’t understand why you took brother(7), away from his siblings, school, and friends in CA to move to CO. You left with no explanation and then eloped a few days later. Your stepchildren loved you and looked up to you. You always said you were proud of them and you were going to walk your stepdaughter down the aisle.

    Dad: They are adults, so I don’t owe them anything. When “m” got sick, they were never around. No one knows what I went through. I dont have to explain my reasons to anyone.
    Me: Huh…(major revisionist history)…. M’s daughter, “moved in” for several months to take care of her mom and take little brother to school. “M’s” sons visited with the grandkids all the time. So either you are lying now or you were lying then.

    Dad: I don’t need to be a single parent right now it’s too hard. (Um…your last two wives? Single parents…)

    My favorite are the relatives who think he is this poor, downtrodden soul (he always twists things around to make it seem like he is the victim of circumstance). He has the added benefit of being conventionally attractive and kind to people outside of dealing with his kids. Women relatives in particular patronize me and tell me that I shouldn’t be so upset. His two older sisters are trying to do damage control by claiming that” m”‘s kids knew about my dad remarrying and they approved of it. Not from what I’ve seen…..

    (As an aside wife #4 just recently finalized a divorce with her second husband in June. The reason she told me the marriage didn’t work? He was a narcissist.)

    The way my dad treats cars and animals are alot like how he treats his children and wives.
    Every animal he’s had he’s given away because he can’t care for it long term, he’s obsessed with cars(has leased 30+ in his lifetime, then gets tired of them and gets the newest, greatest, shiniest.

    I’m sure this thread is dead but I feel better for writing….thank you….
    Your posts on narcissism make me feel that I have found people that I can relate to on this issue.

  7. Mary says:

    “I wish I could put you locked in a closet and take you out when I need you or want you.”

  8. Lola says:

    Boyfriend of 7 years : “Well, if you wanna blame me for not being there for you – I’ve got a few examples! Where were you when I needed you during the funeral of your ex-boyfriend, during the one of your grandfather and during your grandmother’s funeral?”

    My jaw just dropped – thank God that he made this a comment – it made it so much easier to leave.

  9. Pam says:

    Older sister’s immediate response to learning that I was diagnosed with a serious chronic illness at the age of 35 with two toddlers and a full time job: “Will I get it too?” Several years later I no longer think she’ll get around to asking how I’m doing.

  10. Sara says:

    Narcissistic Hubby: You never help me with anything. You don’t do ANYTHING!! ….and it hurts my feelings when you do the laundry and fold my clothes but don’t put them away for me. It makes me feel less close to you when you leave my clothes folded on the counter for ME to put away.

  11. Carrie says:

    I play golf at a relatively small club so pretty much everyone knows everyone. When Joanne enters people start furiously fidgeting, gathering their belongings. Usually and stupidly I decide to give her yet another chance to prove me and everyone wrong but she hijacks the table just the same. Just the other day she spent 22 1/2 minutes telling me how 3 separate computer techs had not done a satisfactory job for her. I think she may have detected the glaze over my eyes and finally said, and I’m not kidding, “Oh, enough about me. What about you? What do you think about all this? It’s all just so upsetting to me.” Well, I sort of thought she was just kidding, because how cliche, really, so I started laughing at her comical question. Maybe finally she was “getting it”. Uhh, no, and when I realized she was completely serious I began to laugh…really hard…and then I became hysterical. Literally. Pretty soon I looked like the freak.

  12. Pamela says:

    when my father-in-law found out his son sufferred from impotence, his first words were: “Well I’m not, I always have been fantastic!” then he turns around to his wife and says “Right Sonia?”

    Another one from my sister as I was going through a nasty divorce and my husband had cut me and the children off financially, she says after hearing what I was going through: “Lucky I’m not often around to hear this, it stresses me out!”

  13. Embee says:

    In the middle of being in labour with my third child, my (now ex) said to me “how long are you going to be? I need to buy timber”. He left just after the baby was born without any acknowledgement to me, and my legs were still apart for delivery of the placenta! Creep!

    • kim77 says:

      omg what an ass! I can sympathize with you girl!!!! My ex ass, when i had to have an emergency c-section, asked me if i wanted him in there. When i asked why he said that, he said ‘Well, I’m kind of tired.’ I shouldn’t have let him come in!

  14. Dakota says:

    My mom and I had one of those frequent arguments where you have to remind her where the boundaries are…because she tends to forget after a while.. as they tend to do. This time it involved my spouse. She was complaining how I always put my partner first, before the needs of my mother. My response was of course, “Well that’s the way it should be with a married couple and that’s the way it will always be. Period.” To which she replied, with much contempt and a “holier-than- thou” tone of voice, “Well, if you choose to be an extension of your spouse, that’s your problem.” 🙂

    The other hilarious incident was with my dad (yes, indeed, I grew up with two of them as parents). It was the late 80s and George Michael had made wearing a crucifix in one ear very fashionable for rebellious teenage boys with the release of his album “Faith”.. especially a boy who had narcissistic parents and was trying to find his own identity. So, one day my dad discovered me wearing such a crucifix earring in one ear. He summarily ripped it out of my ear while shouting, “Take that %$#$@ thing out of your ear… I am not a catholic!”

  15. Carrie says:

    After about a year of dating, my narcissistic boyfriend suggested ‘we’ buy a house. After all was said and done, I had signed a 35 year mortgage with no help from him, financially or otherwise. A few days after moving in, he asked if his troubled teenage niece could stay with us, which resulted in another responsibility that landed solely on me. Three months later, when I was tearfully asking about the condoms in his pocket and text messages indicating he was having an affair, he said “Well, really Carrie — is there anything here worth saving?”

  16. Mary Ann Johnson says:

    After being diagnosed with a reocurrence of breast cancer in March 2012, my husband who had moved out the previous May decided he should move back in with me for financial reasons and to “be there” for me. After being back for a week he said he had to go back to his chalet for something and on his return he said, “let me clarify something, I’m going to move back in just until you are better or you die, right?” I later found the “something” was a tryst with his girlfriend. Now my cancer has advanced to stage 4 and he cannot understand why I don’t want him in my remaining life!

    • Okay. Not that there was really a contest but who cares. You are the new winner in the search for a quintessential narcissistic remark. “I’m going to move back in just until you are better or you die” is top notch. That said, I am not a religious person. But I will do whatever version of praying I can manage for your health to make a nice turn around. Take good care of yourself.

  17. mazzymoo says:

    my ex narcissist after discard and moving into his own appartment says to me ” we are both good looking people,we will find new partners”. This was after being together 11 years of which 3 of them married. I remember thinking i didnt get married to find a new partner.

  18. mazzymoo says:

    another one on the day of discard tells me that he wishes i was dead, after sorting out his bankruptcy for him, dealing with his depression, and financing his car. These creeps should be locked away from society.

  19. Shan says:

    This is supposed to be a comment, not sure if I am entering this in the right area. I just recently discovered that my mom is narcissistic. Here is an example of her self absorbed ways. One day she, my 5 year old daughter, and myself were on our way to drop her off. I was driving and she asked if I would drive through McDonald’s so that she could get a Mcflurry. I told her that I didn’t have any money to buy my daughter anything and asked if she would lend me enough money so that her granddaughter could also get a snack. She was digging in her purse and stated that she only had enough for herself and still wanted me to take her to mcd’s. Furious, I took her and as we pulled out of the drive through she spied 25 cents laying in my ashtray. She states, “if I would have known you had 25 cents I could have gotten a larger Mcflurry.” I looked at her in disbelief as she ate her ice cream in front of her granddaughter. When I asked her how she could be so selfish she acted like she had no idea why I was upset. After all, it wasn’t her fault that I didn’t have enough money to get my daughter ice cream…. I am so glad that I finally figured out that I am not alone in dealing with this illness.

  20. jixey says:

    As my 91-year-old father-in-law was dying, my 87-year-old narcissist mother-in-law complained to me that he was listless and not interested in doing anything anymore. I volunteered that it sounded as if he could be depressed and urged her to mention it to his physician who would be able to help but she would have none of it. “He’s not the type,” she insisted. She then went on to complain about how much weight he had lost and how old he was looking, ending by saying she was afraid he was not long for this world. (We lived across the country from them and hadn’t seen them for a year.) I said I was sorry to hear he was in such a poor state, and that it must be very difficult for her. She agreed it was hard and then demanded, “What’s going to happen to me if he dies?”

    They were married for 38 years. As it turned out, she passed away a day and a half after her husband and there was a double funeral. One of their gentleman friends who attended was utterly devastated, practically inconsolable. Afterwards, my husband commented to me that he wondered if the traumatized man was the one his mother had spoken of when she shared that she “already had someone else lined up” during a telephone conversation several months earlier!

  21. mazzymoo says:

    he also told me over the phone once “you think of me as an object” – total projection

  22. Si says:

    When my father had a what-should-have-been-fatal heart attack he was put deep under meds as we waited to find if he had brain damage or not. Since he had always had a special relationship with his first grandson (that my mother had been intensely jealous of) my sister brought the boy into the hospital room to talk to grandpa and gain an understanding of what was happening to his buddy. Although dad was intubated and medicated and had some brain damage, he still spoke to his grandson and called him by name. It was amazing! It gave us hope! Except mom was jealous that it hadn’t been HER that he had spoken to. She began try to get a response out if him. “Jim…Jim” she called. When he didn’t answer she shouted in his face “JIM!” and smacked his arm. He made an alarmed snorting sound and the nurse looked at me in horror. “His brain has swelling and needs to rest.” My mom then explained how pissed she was that he hadnt the decency to speak to her. Yikes.

  23. KChere says:

    Firstborn child hospitalized — suicidal; me, navigating brand-new job; youngest, fresh out of surgery and having severe reaction to painkillers. Me, on phone with mother. Mother: Why didn’t you check your mailbox for my card right when you got home? Me: Mom, the kids and I are tired. We’re — Mother: — I’m tired too. Life. Is tiring. You just gotta get out and do whatcha gotta do. Me: We’ve kind of been busy, so — Mother: You’re Depressed. You need to think about going on medication.

  24. Lizard girl says:

    I scheduled a c-section to give birth to twins and asked my sister to come to the hospital and stay with my older son while my husband and I were in delivery, so he could be the first one to meet his new sibilings. She works in Human Resources and the date and time of my scheduled c-section conflicted with her payroll duties that day and she wanted me to ask my doctor to reschedule it for her. I was stunned and said no, I wasn’t going to do that. My best friend flew 1000 miles to be with us instead.

  25. Earnestine says:

    My father has put many hours into the writing and rewriting of his own obituary. He told my brother it is to run exactly as written, we are not to change a word. (Or else — what?) I haven’t seen it, but my brother says it’s verrrrrry long. I’d bet every last cent that his Mensa membership features more prominently than his children. Wouldn’t be surprised if he wrote eulogies for us to deliver.

  26. Lynneledgewood says:

    Before my oldest daughter was born I had a miscarriage. My parents knew I was pregnant so when I called to tell my mom I had a miscarriage, her only response was “I had a miscarriage between you and your younger sister because you were sick, and I had to take care of you and couldn’t be on bed rest.” Yes my sister was the golden child and I was the scapegoat. Please note that my younger sister is only 3 years younger than I am.

  27. nina day says:

    My narcissistic mother died last week at 93. On her birthday! I was told that she would never make it to that day-but then I knew that she REALLY,REALLY wanted that additional year!

    I am almost afraid to start in this vein-since there are really countless narcissistic stories which might pop out of my memory- but for starters:

    “You know I wish Annina had decided to learn to play tennis-she would have looked GREAT in a tennis dress!”
    It should be noted that this was repeated several times a year for 50 years, in the presence of someone else.
    In fact she NEVER spoke to me or looked at me-ALWAYS referred to me in the 3rd person!

  28. Irma says:

    hope I’m leaving this in the right place…

    A famous record producer who will remain unnamed had to fire the staff of his fledgling record label after it went belly up after a very short amount of time. All these kids quit previous jobs just to work for him and the promise of great things to come. After he fired the group he said with head bowed, “don’t worry about me everyone. I’m going to be fine…”

  29. Jah Nonymous says:

    Awhile back I had mentioned to my narcissist buddy that I was suffering from foot pain due to plantar fascitis, a common ailment. When I happened to see the guy again a few months later, he mentioned that he now had foot pain due to plantar fascitis. I said something like “darn, I’m sorry to hear that” — and I will never forget his response.

    His eyes narrowed and his voice changed to a tone of pure disgust, and he said “Yeah… you gave it to me.” Then he changed back to normal and let out a nervous chuckle and said “no, I’m just kidding.”

  30. lucy says:

    get ready for some jaw-dropping quotes, i swear i’m not making this up!

    when i finally got the courage to leave my narcissistic boyfriend after 3 yrs he told me, “you should get a male dog. you can learn how to bond with a species of the opposite sex. they will always be loyal to you, never yell at you, and last longer than your relationships. just a little piece of unsolicited advice.” (the one thing i asked was for my N to stop yelling at me, but then i was just trying to control him by asking him that, so he thought getting a dog would be best for me.)

    during the break up, while holding a machete to his throat, he asked me how i would feel if if he slit his throat and bled out in from me, because that was essentially what i was doing to him.

    oh and when i was crying because he was yelling at me and it hurt my feelings, he would tell me, “i’m only yelling because you don’t listen to me.” he also told me, that i had to deal with this reactions because of what i caused by disrespecting him in the first place.

    when i would get crazy from the fights and find myself in a fetal position on the bathroom floor, crying, hyperventilating wondering what the hell was wrong with me, he wouldn’t hug me or comfort me because that “would just encourage my behavior and he didn’t want me to think it was ok what i was doing.”

    he told me, “i see more than you, i hear more than you, and i speak more than you. i’m on a higher level than you, and i don’t judge you for that.” jeez, thanks!

    when i asked him for help around the house (laundry, dishes, cleaning..i also was the only one working a real job, paying alllll the bills and trying to get “our” business up and running) he said, “you still have to do this stuff anyways whether you are with me or not.” meaning i was making a big deal of doing stuff that i would still have to do if i was single.

    once i told him i felt like his mother (for all of the things i just mentioned above.) his response: “you don’t know what it’s like to be a mother, because a mother loves unconditionally.”

    when he couldn’t wake up at a decent hour, and would ask me to wake him up at say noon or 1pm in the afternoon, he would be grumpy and angry. so i stopped waking him up. he told me i “needed to get over my fear” of waking him up. and when i would get annoyed he would role out of bed at 5pm, he would tell me i was “judging him.”

    when i asked him to get on some sort of schedule with me for work and eating, etc., he told me “i was too obsessed with time” and it was controlling me; time is arbitrary and means nothing; that i would try to control him by asking him to structure his time; and that i “never let things happen naturally.”

    i could go on for days…need to share to keep my sanity. it’s so crazy how they mess with your minds so much….if more come to mind, i’ll definitely post some more! thanks for allowing us to vent and share.

  31. lucy says:

    here’s another one: a friend of ours got married to a younger girl, he said, “well at least he is able to mold her.”

    clearly, i missed ALL of the red flags!

  32. katherine says:

    Retired physics professor stepdad (after I had been out of work for a while and feeling terrible about it): “I sure hope you find something intellectually challenging to do soon. I would hate for you to become boring and uninteresting to talk to.”

  33. Surfma says:

    After I told my Narc I was leaving,he said Im going to call the cops to make u leave now!! I said
    ” I need to pack sorry..”
    They came and saw I was packing and made him leave..He was so pissed that he lost control over me that he got a restraining order…They served me and I said
    ” I’m leaving in the”
    Once again with Boxes all over the house, The cops drove me to a hotel and 6 months later he contacted me and did the whole I miss u thing and said
    ” You called your Dad to come and get you so I just helped you leave faster” Yikes!
    (We never fought and never ever raised one finger at each other)

  34. Victoria says:

    :A quote from my mother (whose hobby is painting) to a visiting neighbor who’d innocently asked about her artwork:
    :”Oh, my paintings are gorrrr-geous! I could gaze at them all day. Why anyone would want to look at any other art besides mine, I just can’t imagine. That would be ridiculous, don’t you think?”

    Her tone was so earnest and the paintings were such a mess….the look on the neighbor’s face was priceless. It was a rare time my mother’s narcissism made me laugh instead of cry.


  35. Me Too says:

    My parents had come to take care of me after I had surgery. I was in bed and in pain. Thinking I could train my mother to have — or at least show — empathy toward me, I said, “You, standing over me and verbalizing your anxieties about my condition, does not make me feel better.” To which she snort-giggled and said, “Well, it makes me feel better.”

  36. Jodi Day says:

    My N and I used to have awesome sex, as long as I initiated it. Once I reached peri menopause I didn’t initiate sex enough for him so he would whine that he wasn’t getting it enough. Mind you, the very few times he has ever initiated I never turned him down. When I would say to him if you are horny why dont you start something with me instead of complaining? He would say “I dont want to have sex with someone that doesnt want to have sex with me”. He was a porn addict and he has also had an affair which was emotionally crippling for me. One day I was trying to make him understand how hurtful it is to me that he is always looking at porn. His response to me was “You’re lucky that’s all I’m doing since you never have sex with me”!( He never even attempts to have sex)!

  37. Michelle Bobier says:

    My now-deceased mother-in-law was wildly narcissistic. One of my favorite narc stories about her happened when an elderly lady she knew was widowed, following which her son built “a great big house” so she could live with him (HINT, HINT), and a few months after they moved in, the son promptly died, and this was terrible, because it left the elderly widow to cope with (presumably selling) the Great Big House, and there she was, All Alone with No One to Take Care of Her. When my MIL told my husband about this, she said, “So, you’d better take good care of yourself, Gary!” This was accompanied by a highly meaningful look. Later on, I said to him, “So, doesn’t it make you feel just SO SPECIAL to know that the only reason your mother cares whether you live of die is because she wants someone to take care of her?” “Yes,” he said. “Lovely.”

  38. Obsidian ButterFly says:

    One day after months of no contact with my narcisissist ex-b we were catching up over the phone. I was telling him how I reached the lowest point I had ever had after our break-up but in a few months I was recovering and doing new and exciting things with my life. I went on to tell of vacations I had taken, new friends I had made, old relationships I had repaired with my family, of the new men I had dated and how grateful I was to God for healing me and providing me with a second chance in life. He became completely unhinged. He verbally assaulted me and told me how I was suspose to remain pitiful because it would have been AN EGO BOOST TO HIM. He further went on to insult me because he claimed I had more fun than him and dated multiple people while he had only the one girlfriend and MADE HIMSELF OUT TO BE THE VICTIM! HE SUFFERED BECAUSE I HAD MOVED ON!!!

  39. Linda says:

    When my mother was diagnosed with diabetes, she told me, “You’ll never know what it’s like to be told you have diabetes.” The fact that I’d had it for 10 years before her must have slipped her mind.

  40. geege923 says:

    I made the gigantic mistake of reconnecting with a guy I knew from high school about 30 years later…he had to have been full of himself way back then but I was too naive to notice. He’s an MD and I only mention this because he claims female doctors and surgeons are inferior (indicates a touch of misogyny). During the drinking part of the evening I was expected to ooh and ah at every picture of his progeny loaded on his phone and be impressed by the large sum of money on three paychecks he carried in his outside jacket pocket, obviously too busy to deposit or even care if they blew away. While in bed, he mentioned two other women he’d been with (one deceased) and how she would say, “Please fuck me (so and so)”. The other is still one his regulars. Then when his incompetent co workers messed something up the next morning, instead of hanging out with me he had to rush to save the day, so he dropped me off at the library. When he picked me up and we grabbed a bite to eat on the way back to the airport he couldn’t stop patting himself on the back for being able to rise to the occasion “4 fucking times”, could I believe it? He was really impressed by this and of course denied being on any erectile dysfunction meds. I guess narcissism is a powerful drug in its own way.

  41. True V says:

    My n told me soon after we started dating “I need you to die in an automobile accident, sober”. Then a few minutes later told me to listen to beating of the blades on the ceiling fan, “they are telling you to kill yourself”. Then called me that nest Monday to ask if I wanted to be on his insurance. I said no thanks.

  42. Emily says:

    I had been in a nearly 5 year relationship with a man I truly believed was the love of my life. We had even talked about marriage (his idea, not mine). On the day I learned he had been cheating on me for the better part of a year, I begged him to please talk to me about it. This is the response I got:

    “We’ll talk next week. I don’t know when but we’ll talk. But don’t expect an about face from me. No one swooped in and stole me away. I’m my own person once again. I’m doing what I want. And I want to spend time with S*****e and see where this goes. Let me try to be happy without muddying the water….please.

    I do love you. But I need you as my friend right now…..but we’ll talk next week and I’ll listen.”

    By the way….it has now been three weeks since that reply….still no talk! He acts as if nothing at all has happened and that we are just the closest of BFFs in the whole wide world. Simply amazing.

    • Kim says:

      Have you left him yet???????!!!!!
      Similar situation here as well. I left ! I’m still healing and its a process !

  43. geege923 says:

    You need to lose him Emily. Think self-esteem!

  44. Sarah T. says:

    Oh my god this is a great thread!

    My oldest sister became violently, mentally ill when I was around 10 years old. For years she refused medication and the household was always in chaos. Following one of my sister’s many explosive fits, this time where she held a knife to my throat in front of my parents threatening to kill me, I went to narcissistic mom looking for comfort.

    Me: Mommy, I’m scared.
    Narc Mom: Well how do you think *I* feel, having a daughter like your sister? Can you imagine how difficult this is for me? This is just terrible.

    And….I comforted her! I’ve spent my life taking broken wounded people with personality disorders under my wing and JUST recently discovered the root of it is called having a narcissistic parent.

    Great blog, Merrill!

  45. Earnestine says:

    My mother caught my NPD father in an affair (not the first) 27 years ago. She offered him a divorce. He declined, claiming to want to save his family. When my mother recently discovered the affair never ended, she asked why he didn’t give her a divorce 27 years ago. He said, “Because you’d be miserable without me.”

  46. sally says:

    From my ex-husband, for what purpose I’m not sure: ” I’ve been faithful to you ever since our divorce.” Maybe he was lonely?

  47. Looney hearts club ex member says:

    I just received an oops email forwarded to me by my guy friend. He and I were planning an expensive, once in a life time trip that he was going to pay for. He was over the top excited with his arrangements and he wanted me to read the emails between him and the travel agent. However, in the middle of the 10 emails was a chat exchange between a woman and him that was definitely seductive bedroom conversation which had been going on for some time. He offered to take her shopping, buy her sexy lingerie, and have her dress sexy just for him.
    I confronted him on line, having hit “reply all”. He responded, “I don’t see anything wrong with talking to women on line. I talk to women all over the country all the time.” Then he said, “What about when I waited for you to come home from your dates with xxx?” I was stunned. He was referring to something from 7 years ago and I wasn’t even dating him then.
    So then I find out that he is married to a long suffering woman. He told me that he said to her and their grown children, “I am not married, just your mother is married.” which he said in front of his grown children.
    DELETE button works wonderfully.

  48. Rolloff Dropoff says:

    Hi Merrill, this incident occurred in the early 70’s when I was about 15 years old & my completely self absorbed, late father was in his mid 50’s. It was Xmas eve, and we had just been informed that my brother’s (& his future wife’s) best friend Bill, had tragically been killed in a car accident, at the young age of 25.My elder sister had also dated Bill for a short time & while no longer close, they had seamlessly transitioned into a casual friendship.I knew him only slightly, but had always thought that he was a nice guy, & was naturally saddened by such a senseless turn of events.Needless to say, I felt badly for my siblings, & my brother’s girlfriend, because it was obviously a difficult time for them. My father,(who ironically considered himself to be something of a diplomat) ,instead of uttering even one word of condolence,took great umbrage at this turn of events & declared; “I will not allow the spectre of that long nosed ghost to ruin MY Xmas!”(He always did have a way with words).He was actually enraged that we were not smiling & ho, ho, ho-ing enough, or actually not at all, & therefore definitely not enriching HIS Xmas festivities. The thing that always astounded me, was that he was not a stupid man;he just did not possess even one single ounce of empathy for another living soul.This is only one example of my not so dearly departed Dad’s extreme insensitivity for another living soul. I too could fill a book with many,many more such tarnished little gems , uh lumps of coal, but it is just too painful dredging up these negative memories to that extent. I haven’t yet read any of your work, but your books are now at the top of my to – read list.I first saw you on Letterman several years ago, & I was instantly taken by your wry wit & obvious talent.Best regards, & good luck in your future endeavours !

  49. Takes All Kinds says:

    many years ago a friend of mine had an affair with her boss and they conceived a child. when she told him she was pregnant.. he replied. YOU TOLD ME YOU COULDN’T GET PREGNANT YOUR HUSBAND HAD A VASECTOMY.

  50. geege923 says:

    the boss was not necessarily narcissistic but he sure is dumb!

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