Okay. Here it is. My big comment on Mr. Letterman.
Posted in blog post on October 2nd, 2009 by Merrill Markoehttps://www.fandangotrading.com/n9fnqb9zqk It is this: As you can imagine this is a very emotional moment for me because Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on.
https://trevabrandonscharf.com/6enwwpz And now that I have your attention, for your additional enjoyment, here’s this. It is my re-interpretation of Quick Draw McGraw as a German expressionist film. Or, if you’re more in the mood for something about how your dog might react if you had a heart attack, here’s this. my first and only French film.
https://www.thephysicaltherapyadvisor.com/2024/09/18/0l2gk4s This entry was posted on Friday, October 2nd, 2009 at 10:44 and is filed under blog post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
https://ragadamed.com.br/2024/09/18/e9403z9jk my first thought when i saw the letterman story on cnn.com this morning: i wonder if merrill markoe will say something about this on her blog? my 2nd thought was maybe i should get out more…
https://www.drcarolineedwards.com/2024/09/18/j1aiititf7 I am thoroughly convinced that Dave learned funny from you.
go You’re the best. You really are.
https://livingpraying.com/xgrcjqze I remember the days when Dave was actually funny, and not the sour crotchety repititious partisan hack he’s devolved into. Oh well, you’ll always be aces in my book, Merrill. 🙂
Buy Diazepam Online Eu I would like to thank all four of you guys. Really. And take this opportunity to say that I am now so fond of you all that I would like to propose a toast: “May none of you ever wake up one morning to find your name and photo included in a montage full of interns and personal assistants.” Okay. Let’s all clink glasses.xox Merrill
Buy Valium Cheap Online Uk Perfect. Perfecto. Perfetto. Parfait.
https://semnul.com/creative-mathematics/?p=28u5f0qgh Succinct, poised and hilarious commentary regarding he-who-shall-not-be-named.
https://www.modulocapital.com.br/nfjaaaen7ys BTW, love the new Quickdraw. Who knew that old horse had had such emotional range? Last time I saw such a departure was Tony Danza in the made for TV classic, Freedom Fighter!
https://traffordhistory.org/lookingback/l727vab8q Or in a lighter vein, may I recommend the Vanilla Ice vehicle “Cool as Ice.” Kind of hard to find but well worth the effort. BTW: thanks.
https://luisfernandocastro.com/sgi96zb9ffs I recommend keeping a copy of your blog tag list in your purse in case someone asks you to play Mad Libs.
https://www.thoughtleaderlife.com/eh7uesxh Tags
1929 animals bad marriage. berries big beetle Bob Dylan C.U.T.I.E carwash chasing bottles cholesterol collections Comet Kahoutek. Sky Lab cookies David Attenborough devil dog douche eagles eccentric behavior economic recession fans fat Fourth of July fresh pie gay marriage God having trouble writing June weddings Kyrgstan lists lysol marriage Merrill Markoe new Congressional bill pickle pie rambutan SARS sex Sport N Shave Ken swine flu talking dog. vacation wire dinosaur Womans Home Companion WTF?
go So pithy & witty – as always. Any chance you’ll *really* dish on Dave in a posthumous (him…) tell-all? You’d make so much $$$ & could basically write whatever, since everyone would believe you like it was gospel.
https://vbmotorworld.com/d3ypf76bm Merrill,
Buy Diazepam 5Mg Online Nice reply. I, too, was wondering when the media would be banging on your door, looking for comments. Great to hear from you.
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https://www.drcarolineedwards.com/2024/09/18/955gf40 Always the enigma , huh Ms. Markoe? You may have an undiscovered talent in screeching German lamentations for kids. Yikes, the mouse arrow slipped and Merrill glared at me. Seriously, submit that for a voice-over Emmy.
here If it’s any consolation, some of your fans like me now know that you have a blog courtesy of the link from your big comment. The Quick Draw McGraw short is super as are the other links on your page (everybody on this thread, stop what you are doing and view the Hearty Drinking Men video).
Buy Valium Us I was hopelessly addicted to Late Night from its inception through the late 80’s. When I got out of college and had to keep decent hours, I bought a Betamax just to watch the previous night’s show while I ate breakfast before going to work. Boy was I a loser! It didn’t seem like it at the time, but geez that sounds weird now. Anyway, thank you for leaving the show when you did, as my Late Night habit would have been much harder to break if the show had remained as funny as it was in the early 80’s.
source link Thank you so much . Seriously. Thanks. Apropos of nothing, if you liked Hearty Drinking Men, may I also recommend Pricks Up Front which is at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRjul4JWpJg, and Bands http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQHAuRegKzg.
source site Greetings Merrill:
https://everitte.org/tvkwtxk I am a big fan of yours from the Late Night days and in the “everything happens for a reason” department, am glad that I have gotten an opportunity to get re-connected to your work thanks to the revelations of last week. I always enjoyed your “too hip for the room” observations and wondered tonight for the first time if you appeared on Dennis Miller’s radio show if the combo of you two would tear a hole in the fabric of the universe. Probably one of those things that would either be really great or not…but I’d like to hear it!
https://technocretetrading.com/5zv0ct4i2 I hope this latest exposure leads to an opportunity for your fans to see and hear more from you.
https://semnul.com/creative-mathematics/?p=7q8bqegz5x MM, many thanks for all of the laughs that you have provided over the years…..I hope the best is yet to come!
https://luisfernandocastro.com/g7n4rqe31cc Judy! Thank you so much! I haven’t had this many complements since…uh..ever. Halderman’s loss is apparently my gain. Thank you so much for writing.
Merrill
click You my dear are a class act. If only there were more people in the world like you. Simply brilliant.
source url Well, I just have to say something about this somewhere. I have one of your books; we’re the same age. And then there’s Dave. I’m a hardcore, 25-year Dave fan. Uh, rephrase: WAS a hardcore, 25-year Dave fan. I’m bothered (in a confused way) on so many levels with regard to his personal revelations of life at the office…that I know I can’t possibly look at him flirt with Julia Roberts (or vice versa) in the same way again. It’s just ruined for me and I am no longer entertained. Sigh.
Buy Valium Msj I don’t want to say that my life isn’t filled with its own wonder and magic, but I was dying to know what you might say and/or how you’d respond publicly to the Dave story. Darling girl, you don’t let down. You are the best. The absolute best.
https://www.parolacce.org/2024/09/18/ph945flyf4 And while I was on your site I checked out the Quick Draw McGraw video. Okay, you’re brilliant. There. I’ve said it.
source link All love to you,
Judy
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go site “Dog Poetry” remains my all time favorite piece of comedy. Thanks again for that, Merrill! Those of us who care to care, have always known you to be the chief architect of what the world now calls, “David Letterman”. And as of late, his tired array of comedy bits, e.g., “Stupid Intern Tricks”, “Depressed, grumpy old guy with comb over” and “Posthumous Oscar Host”, have consumed a once leading edge career. Still, when we laugh at his jokes, one can almost hear under his smug breathe, “Thanks, Merrill”…
When Late Night first showed up in this metro market, it was on a 1-day delayed basis from 1:00 to 2:00 AM. Like the loser who posted above, I’d tape it on my Sears(Toshiba) brand Betamax and watch it the next morning while eating breakfast.
Dr. Phil was right. Letterman really oughta try therapy.
There’s so much about these comments that I am enjoying. But right up there at the top of the list are the first two uses of the word Betamax that I have heard in a long time. Thank you so much for writing.
Merrill
It could be worse. You could have been born 20 years later and helped create the Glenn Beck show.
My interest was always intentional comedy.
In honor (?) of the week’s events MSNBC ran a very special “Headliners and Legends” Saturday that included clips from the morning show and the early days of Late Night. The brilliance of those bits helped salve the sting that my beloved “Lockup” and “To Catch A Predator” had been preempted.
The baffling thing to me is, how do you blackmail someone whose entire public persona revolves around being a curmudgeonly, unlikeable old jerk? It’s like threatening to reveal Donald Trump has a comb-over. “Watch your back, Mr. Hitler, or I shall damage your reputation!”
how was that post-breakup interview for you?
Oh, incidentally, nine dogs and counting in 20 years here; current males of the group are Doug and Dave. I told Dave this morning that I was going to seriously have to rethink his name.
Now that I’ve gotten over my sighing about loss of The Late Show (and a goodbye to my tattered 1987 Late Night tee-shirt whose life was over anyway), I’m glad I have the opportunity to say WALKING IN CIRCLES BEFORE LYING DOWN has a permanent home on our bookshelf and I wish it hadn’t been Letterman who had to remind me of you but I’m glad for the nudge because you are FUN and I need to buy another book. Thanks for taking the high road. You have my respect.
I didn’t need Dave’s Debacle to remind me of you. You have always been my role model. I subscribed to New York Woman (and I live in Georgia) just to read your columns.
…and I have to have to thank Dave for introducing you via the “Peace Through Dramatization” skits. I also have to thank Dave for introducing me to Warren Zevon. (That IS him in “It’s My F…ing Birthday,” isn’t it? Who else decorated in grey?
Snookgirl: I see by you e mail address that you were a friend of Mr. Z. He did have something to do with that character. And much to my relief he really liked the book. Thanks for writing, and for reminding me of his grey decorations.
Your humor will always be loved and valuable to me because of its dark side and its multidimensional richness (Quick Draw McGraw video — WOW OMG!!!). I hope you won’t kill me, but Dave’s humor is dark, too, and the fact that he “needs counseling” is so clear that it’s comical — if you’re not involved with him. I’m just glad that Dave’s Dilemma is turning into your gain, as you said — perhaps you’ll get back into TV so we can see & hear more of you!! With respect and best wishes ~
Fantastic – not that I would have expected any less. I watch Dog Poetry about once a year, when I am having a sad time & it cheers me up every time. Can we expect a new book anytime soon?
Thanks so much for the kind words. Actually I am working on a new book of short pieces even as we speak. Or should I say not working on them since clearly I am goofing around here. When we see how this thing shakes down, maybe I will have an angle to write about (besides handing out sugar free popsicles to the reporters in my driveway.) While I am plugging away , might as well add that my newest novel (’Nose Down, Eyes Up’) comes out in paperback in April. So there. Now I have given myself a bunch of plugs.By the way, this website is under repair. The link from the N.Y.Post crashed it. It should be working normally sometime today (I hope.)
Like many of the people who have written here, I’ve rediscovered you, Ms Markoe, cause of this scandal. Your response brought me back to so much joy I experienced watching Late Night in the ’80s, and the humour that I so loved that seemed to have been lost with your departure. It also brought me back to earth from my non-stop WHO KILLED MJ SOMEONE MUST PAY Web marathon (seriously, I’ve been at it since June 25). I still proudly retain much of the immaturity that characterized my behaviour when I was in my 20s.
I’m now scouring Canadian book stores for the Psycho Ex Game, the concept of which sounds hilarious. God Bless you, beautiful lady, for making me laugh for so many years, and now today again.
Barb
PS: It also blows to actually *be* the only woman your ex-asshole-of-a-boyfriend loudly admits he cheated on. I speak from bitter experience.
Barb, Psycho Ex-Game is a must-read. If you can’t find it in a bookstore, you can order it from Amazon. Merrill’s dog literature will always be my very favorite because of my affection for the topic itself, but Psycho is messed up and terrific and wrong and truly hilarious.
I’m totally messed up and wrong so now I know the book is for me! Thanks for the heads-up, Margaret. I need a book I can cackle through, as the only man I trust nowadays is Wall-E. And all he ever talks about is Eve. Which doesn’t necessarily mean he’s out as a potential life partner mind you…Perimenopause is s bitch.
Barb
Dear Merrill–When I was young and firm and foolish I wrote you a fan letter which was essentially a gushing love note about DAVE. You never responded. Thank you for that. You saved me from god-knows-what. And Lynnie? We’re all disappointed in Dave. Every interview with a cute young thing (like that chick from ‘Glee’) seems pervy now. Big sigh.
Dear Merrill,
I thought of you, too, in the unfolding things in “le scandal” and recalled with fondness the glory days of LATE NIGHT when you and Chris Elliott were at the helm. I’ve even watched Dave since his failed morning program with Paul in the summer of 1980 (my then 83-year old Grandpa, with whom I was staying that summer, and I used to watch the morning show at his breakfast table in Akron: “That guy’s a kook!” he used to say). My clearest memory from that summer show is the cowboy rodeo that was held on the woofers? of exposed speakers. I’m guessing that was your idea and one of many brilliant and zany ones over the years.
The whole recent “thing” is icky and rather screams of narcissistic behavior on all sides. Or maybe that’s just the price of doing business in TV-land.
In any event, I’m sure you are glad to be out of the fray and all the best with present and future writing/productions. But as for the Late Show, yeah, I’ll still watch: old habits die hard.
Catherine
I can’t wait for your next book. And I loved Quick Draw McGraw!
Beth! The best most thorough hardest working copy editor in the world. I hear your voice in my head when I write and I start correcting things so you won’t circle them when I turn them in.
Absolutely agree with above. I’ve been waiting for years for someone to point out the curious nosedive in iconoclastic humor and just truly funny stuff from Le DL following your departure.
Years ago, I read in an inteview that you said something to the effect that, in the early days of your relationship, you would do “the regular girlfriend stuff,” like give him your best jokes. I thought, damn, that man had better treat her like gold. When I later heard that the relationship had ended, I remembered that interview. Several years later, I remembered it again, when my future ex-husband whose business I’d helped establish turned out to be doing the serial subordinate thing.
Brava, Merrill. You’ve always been the real deal. Genuine wit and true class.
Thanks Kathleen. I love the phrase ‘serial subordinate.’ I will be using that somehow in the future.
Merrill
Absolutely, and by all means!
Your comment on Dave’s indiscretion–spot on. The Quick Draw McGraw video–absolutely brilliant. Now, maybe something on Dr. Phil?
one of your best assets other than your hilarious take on the issues has always been your facial expressions. years ago i remember seeing you in clips with dave and the dogs etc. and your expressions always made me laugh.
PS… you appear to be the only attractive one dave was ever with.
Merrill, Add me to the list of people who instantly thought of you when this whole thing broke. You really are a class act. “How to be Hap- Hap- Happy Like Me” still makes me laugh out loud and I recently got my mom a copy of “Walking in Circles Before Lying Down” and she is loving it:) Your writing really tickles a part of my brain that not many other people can reach. I was always a big fan of LN and then LS, and found the bits and jokes that were tinged with your comic sensibilities to be some of the funniest pieces. Also, I have to say that that chair you are sitting in looks so comfortable! I’m so glad to have found this site. Tell your dogs I said, “Hey” 🙂
Loved Quickdraw! I couldn’t help laughing out loud at your comment. Waiting on your new book…..
I baked a Clafouti, brought it to work and shared it with my co-workers, celebrating that I’m no longer married to you-know-who. That honesty thing everybody thinks is so decent? In my experience, the truth doesn’t go down any easier and feels like you’re getting it with a slap in the face. A decent lie may actually feel better. Learning the truth, as one eventually does, is still painful, but without the very cruel and narcissistic admission. Just my two cents.
Dear Michelle S.
I baked a Clafouti too. It wasn’t that great but I love the word Clafouti and I wanted to be able to use it in a sentence.
Thanks for the kind words. I liked them all (but I especially liked Clafouti.)
Merrill
I’m trying to decide whether or not I should admit that I had to Google Clafouti.
I have known of you since way back when too. I too was the girl who got away — also from a celebrity of sorts. Why is it that so many men get stuck in adolescence and it ruins the rest of their entire lives. You are most definitely the girl who got away and then some. If I were a betting gal I’d say DL is a zillion and two million dollars sorry about his fate. I hope good karma comes to you always!
This has been a great excuse to remind me that I never thanked you for your immortal advice (Guide to Love? How to be Hap-Hap-Happy?) to never date a guy who walks a half a block ahead of you. I am 58 and still haven’t got it right, but can’t say that I wasn’t warned.
I have given out tens of copies of your Guide to Love to my young friends and suggest that, as a public service, you consider making it available at a modest discount to all newly hired young females at the Late Show.
Thanks for everything!
Karen.- That walking tip was some good advice, wasn’t it.If I do say so myself. My new book will contain a very thorough piece I have been working on called ‘How to Spot an Asshole’ which I hope will pick up where the fast walking advice left off. As soon as I cut it down so I’m not casting such a wide net that I’m trapping dolphin with the tuna. Thanks for writing.
Aww, that’s nice of you to say, Merrill. (It does make me feel kind of scary, but I’m not sure I mind that.) xoxo
Will the new book address those rumors that swirled around in the early 80s about an inappropriate relationship between you and Kamar the Discount Magician?
Not that it’s anyone’s business. But will it?
Margaret: I hope this comment stays where I put it. I notice that my replies are sliding down the page. Maybe I need to send WordPress a terrabyte of Elmer’s glue. Yes, my new book will clear all that Kamar stuff up which will be a great joy to the family members of this wonderful man who have long suffered over the inclusion of the word Discount in his name. Hopefully it will help restore his reputation to the full price category it so richly deserves.
I know next to nothing about German expressionist films, and just a bit of German to get me in a lot of trouble. Such films are open to a wide range of interpretation.
I have just one question: Do Jimmy and Ginger respond to dog biscuits the way Quick Draw’s dog Snuffles did?
Somehow I get the impression that Bob and Stan were more your idea than someone else’s…
Dear Dave R: Just so you stay current on the dog population at my house, its NOT just Jimmy and Ginger. You will find all the basic study materials here:http://coffeecanine.blogspot.com/2009/09/merrill-markoe-jimmy-ginger-puppyboy.html. But yes, Jimmy and Ginger enjoy their treats. They are the former children of a scoundrel who went to jail for ponzi schemes. (But I told them he died a hero throwing himself on a grenade to save the members of his platoon in Iraq. I think its best that they not know the truth,)
We have a puggle named Ricky who has lived with us for over a year.
We also have 3 active children so its hard Rickyproofing the house.
Ricky has a hard time distinguishing between edible and inedible items so he frequently eats socks, underwear, plastic bags and other stuff and then gets sick.
As soon as he gets over being sick, the process starts all over again.
Are puggles unique in their inability to learn from their culinary experiences? Do other dogs ever say ” Maybe I shouldn’t eat that because I got very sick the last time? ”
Do dogs ever learn from experience or are they like human beings in this regard?
Tom: It is my experience that they do learn some stuff from experience, tho sadly it is seldom anything that adds to the relationship. For example, apparently someone used to hit my dog Ginger. Therefore every time I turn my head too quickly or drop a pen, she puts her head down, tail between her legs and runs out of the room like I am going to kill her, making me feel like some kind of Michael Vick figure when in fact all I ever do is give her treats and kiss her. HOWEVER, she, nor any of the other 3, have not managed to retain the information I have lovingly dispensed with regard to the garbage not being an all you can eat buffet. Even though I have repeatedly struck the garbage while saying “No. Bad.” as I learned to do in a dog training book. So far, I have only succeeded in making the garbage feel even worse. So I guess the answer is yes and no.But where eating is concerned mainly no. And where unsavory activities involving puke and poop are concerned, under no circumstances no.
“Dave promised me many times that I was the only woman he would ever cheat on”
One-liner of the year. Someone, please, give this woman her own show. (There may be an opening on CBS soon…)
If dogs learned from experience they’d refuse to have anything to do with us, I think. They love everybody. No matter what you do to them, they love you. It’s very painful to see, for me. I’d be a horrible Mama.
I know you weren’t asking me Tom, but I couldn’t help answering the question anyway because I am that annoying.
Barb
Speaking of the morning show, whatever happened to Rich Hall and his Sniglets?
Dear Audrey M;
I haven’t seen Rich Hall in 10,000 years.(Okay, exaggerating…9200 years) But googling him seems to reveal that he is a beloved humorist in England, which certainly sounds like a very fun thing to be.
Is HE the one who started sniglits?
I loved those!
“Rove alert” is one I’ve never forgotten.
I’ve been around so long I recognize the picture of you in this week’s People magazine from an old, old story in Rolling Storne. Oy–I’m old.
I remember your essays from uh, uh….some magaine periferally owned by American Express. The funniest one was about a trip to the Emmys, your dress, a belt and a long walk from the car. Are those collected anywhere? I’d love to read them again.
I guess one good this to come of all this is that I get to maniaclly wiki and research Amazon to get caught up on your humor. Good times ahead.
Dear Carole Ann:
The collection of my essays that is still available is called WHAT THE DOGS TAUGHT ME and can be purchased on Amazon for mere pennies a serving. It contains the best of everything from previous volumes plus new stuff. Unfortunately that story about the Emmies of which you speak was in one of two previous volumes that no longer exist (but can be purchased on Amazon for…well, I think they actually pay YOU to buy them.) So, its a win win situation.Kinda.
Thanks for writing.
David Letterman would have been an excellent bellhop, truly. He would have made enough money to keep his dick underneath his armpit; keep his ingenue girlfriends, and keep Jay on the waiting list to take his job.
By the way Mrs Markoe, you look like a young Maria Muldaur
Dear Louis:
I don’t know where the bellhop thought comes from but the dick under the armpit image may haunt me for the rest of my life. Good thing its almost Halloween. On the bright side, I love Maria Muldaur.
I know you’ve moved on but I am arriving fashionably late to this discussion. Your friend Randy Cohen published the best discussion of the Letterman extortion/potentially hostile workplace controversy that I’ve read so far. His perspective is particularly interesting because he was a writer for Letterman’s NBC show before becoming Mr. Ethicist for the NYTimes magazine. He quotes you in his article, and your pithy quote strikes me as the haiku (or I guess, the senryu) equivalent of his column.
Randy Cohen’s column from Oct 12:
http://ethicist.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/12/who-is-letterman-hurting/
Randy Cohen is pretty brilliant. In addition to be a darned good ethicist, he was the creator of the Monkey Cam. Not many men can claim a double header like that . AND he wrote an amazing play last year. He’s an impressive guy.
Huh? Whose Dave? I was at Zappos and clicked on a link to fashionable rain gear….
I hope that this press coverage reminds people (with money in hand) that there is a very funny woman named Merrill who should be writing more comedy. Emotional pain and suffering rarely translate into lucrative offers. I hope in your case that the publicity pays for at least some of the pain. Love your humor and would like to see more of it.
Aw. Thanks. That’s sweet.
PS.
I’m not really in any pain.
Did Letterman make his girlfriends dress like boys or men (?) because he is borderline gay? Holly Hester, Regina Lasko, Steph. Birkett all sorta look like Regis in a wig. Regis said Letterman is always asking him to visit him at his Montana ranch. Maybe he wants to get him alone in his bunkhouse. Or is he just scared of a real woman in a skirt? Like you.
Hello Merrill,
I searched for your name and found my way to your blog today after reading an article on VanityFair.com. It’s written by a woman named Nell Scovell. It’s a fascinating description of rampant sexism in the late night talk show industry. I couldn’t help but wonder about your take on her story.
I have been an ardent fan of yours since high school. At the risk of sounding corny, I read “What the Dogs Have Taught Me” at an age when I really needed to hear a strong, intelligent female voice, and it changed the course of my life. This was right around the time that David Letterman was moving to CBS. I remember noticing that his audiences no longer seemed to laugh, they would usually offer applause instead. Sad, but probably fair, due to the fact that he was only truly funny in his early years with you as his head writer. I hope you will speak out on behalf of women on their way up. We can all use some encouragement.