NEW extra strength Spam: Now with several exciting updates
Posted in blog post on March 4th, 2010 by Merrill MarkoeTags: commenter spam, penis extenders, pilules, spam
see Remember the olden days of the internet , when your aol or earthlink mailbox would fill up with spam for penis extenders and discount viagara? I’m getting a little misty eyed just thinking about that bygone time, back at the beginning of the new century, before sophisticated spam filters came on the scene and disappeared all that stuff for us. Of course that didn’t mean the end of spam by any means. Earlier this year, I had my name stolen by spammers who were running around opening up Twitter and Facebook accounts for me. One minute I was a professional smart ass and then just like that, I was a shill for hot hot hot naked girls. (Although I confess, for a minute I suspected it was part of some kind of massive conspiracy to prevent me from being the last person without a Facebook page.)
enter site Anyway, its no surprise that spam marches on, I guess. But as it does, it continues to grow increasingly wily. In fact, I think we might be in The Golden Age of Spam because currently I am getting spam that, although still annoying, is almost but not quite hilarious. The newest batch of spam about which I have been obsessing is disguised to sound like interested remarks by commenters. Just imagine the challenges this kind of spam presents to the spam provider who now has to prepare a ” one comment fits all” disguise for whatever they are selling. It has to seem equally applicable as a comment on a blog about spring break or one about the health care bill. Finding a way to say something that sounds simultaneously specific yet generic has got to be a lot trickier to write than the copy for those penis extenders. (One of my favorite of the latter category: “Giving your lovemaking the charge of passion and activeness is what our pilules are REALLY good at!)
follow In a way the task the spammers are now facing reminds me a little of my first job in TV, writing jokes and sketches for a show called The All New Laugh In. It was the tail end of the seventies and the original producers of the show from the sixties decided to revive their hit topical weekly comedy for a new audience.Oonly this time they wanted it to be available for syndication. Toward that end they instructed the writers to try and focus on current events that would also be evergreen. When I asked how that was possible, the head writer offered me subject matter examples: Pollution. Corporate greed. Corruption. You know, generic but still in the news. Needless to say, the show did not catch on like the original version. In fact, I think it only aired twice. Maybe that head writer guy is in the passion and activeness pilule business now.
https://hymnsandhome.com/2024/07/25/9b6dkwj00 Anyway, I have been collecting some of my favorites of the new generic spam comments. All of them contain a live return address link which is , of course, the real point.
source url Example #1. is an instant classic. Here it is in its entirety, minus the live link:
source “ Cheapest Tramadol Uk I love the tips on this site, they are always to the point and just the information I was looking for. Theres a link at the bottom of the page its not working, please send me the link at!#%&*+”
Purchasing Tramadol Online While this comment probably goes undetected on at least half of the sites on which it appears, it was absolutely hilarious on this blog because one thing that no one has ever accused me https://etbscreenwriting.com/dslqteny of being is “to the point and just the information I was looking for.” If I have ever made an actual point, it was probably accidental. To say nothing of the fact that there was no live link at the bottom of the page on which it appeared. Of course, another give away was the fact that the commenter was named of Celeb Videos…although, for all I know, Gwynneth Paltrow has a new daughter named Celeb Videos. Or Ashlee Simpson does. Or Nicole Richie.
get link #2 one came from someone named Mortgage Modification. I call him Mort. He was using my rambling thoughts for his research. What a piece of research that must be!
Tramadol Online Cod Fedex ” https://gsaudemarketing.com.br/g54m1v4atos Thanks for the Blog ! I found it insightful with some research I’m doing right now. I’m going to bookmark this blog and return. What other resources are there on the same subject? Keep posting!”
https://geneticsandfertility.com/zh53kzabn8 I gotta give Mort credit where credit is due. His comment has it all: a few generic complements (Insightful!! Keep posting!) , a statement of purpose (“Some research I’m doing right now”) and then a careful but completely generic question to substantiate the research claim (“ Order Tramadol Fedex Overnight What other resources are there on the same subject?). Had I written anything that connected to “other resources on the same subject” , I would have perhaps answered him back and been the lucky recipient of whatever it is that might be of interest to a guy named Mortgage Modification. I guess I’ll never know what that might be.
https://www.pathwaysmagazineonline.com/8eccfskbv91 #3 was especially funny considering it was supposed to be a comment about a “corporate video” that I made on behalf of my dog Puppyboy. It came from an e mail address that had something to do with mascara.
get link “ https://ict-pulse.com/2024/07/wp4qxu9 Hi there internet marketer, commenters along with anybody different !!! Your blog has been completely wonderful! Lord details and also creativity, the two that many of us have! Preserve ’em coming… everyone make this kind of a fantastic job with like Ideas… are unable to explain how much When i, for around understand most of you are doing!”
https://www.inaxorio.com/t586jyh https://www.techonicsltd.com/uncategorized/fgo4pkv26
https://brako.com/en/ueh3y6em Nice that this person was so positive about Puppyboy’s corporate statement. But then again, it takes a special person to understand most of he are doing.
https://ict-pulse.com/2024/07/ql0tr7bm18 #4 comes from a site that has something to do with “she-males” and the general pursuit of “trannies.” It was left as a comment for the blog I wrote a few ahead of this one that is called “wanna be a member” and is about all the supermarkets I have had to join lately. The she-male lover has something very nice to say about the work I have wrote.
https://bxscco.com/nrzlihzl “ https://autismwish.org/elq0apok1i I just think you have wrote an hot piece of post , thank you and … bookmarked!”
https://www.adroitprojectconsultants.com/2024/07/25/09ct9u0 But my current favorite has to be this one , that I just got (4/3/2010) as a comment on my blog in which I made fun of a word I read in someone’s obituary. Check it out. This is a generic comment masterpiece from an online gaming site. Yet its so…contemplative!:
Buy Cheap Tramadol Overnight #5:” https://www.pathwaysmagazineonline.com/lu5ko8fts i probably would not have contemplated this had been awesome two or three years in the past then again it is funny how years evolves the way you experience unsimilar concepts, thanks with regard to the posting it’s pleasant to read anything intelligent now and then instead of the ordinary rubbish mascarading as blogs on the web, i’m going to have fun with a smattering of hands of zynga poker, cheers”
go to link The truth is that I wish all these spammers would just dry up and blow away. But in the mean time, since at least this variety of spam is a almost(but not quite) making me laugh, I think I will begin to return the favor to them by leaving generic complements for them at the end of each spam. This is the draft I am planning to use:
enter “ https://splendormedicinaregenerativa.com/eg4x0f4pvii Thanks for the chance to partake of your timely valuable services . What you are offering is a welcome addition for anyone of my gender, lifestyle or demographic sample . I look forward to giving you my personal information, social security number and credit card security code so that you may contact me repeatedly in the state and zip code of the country in which I am presently living! PS. Giving your lovemaking the charge of passion and activeness is what our pilules are Really good at!”
follow site Yet another UPDATE #1: comes in response to “Narcissists say the darndest things”…my longest running entry on this site. This “comment” comes from “my friend” Tony Luci, whose track back or ping or whatever they call it indicates that he apparently is some kind of a dating site. Poor Tony. Despite his diverse vision, he is strapped for time and his programming friend is slacking off on him. That is why he didn’t have time to give his opinion. He had just enough time to write this amazing thing:
source link “ https://geneticsandfertility.com/z7e6vx59 I have a diverse vision on this and I truly wished I had the time right now. I’ll go forward and subscribe and when I have a chance I’ll give my opinion. Stunning blog by the way. I’m trying to get one going but my programming friend is slacking off on me. Thanks again for your post!
Your Friend – Tony Luci.”
click UPDATE#2. OKAY THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE. this is a response to “My Explanation of Narcissism”. It comes from a site with the words Extreme Fitness in the URL.
https://www.pathwaysmagazineonline.com/0xpatjk1vhh “ watch Let me tell you…without doubt my fave movie star right now. What an amazing superstar. Just fabulous!”
https://ict-pulse.com/2024/07/tkcx10d6uex This may be proof that there is such a thing as being TOO fit
Safe Tramadol Online UPDATE # 3: This was also a response to my article about.Narcissism, one of the few things on this site where I have not closed the comments to cut down on the spam. This comes from someone with the unusual name of Clothing Rack. I guess that’s a Czech name? Or is it Irish? Anyway, Clothing thinks that Narcissism is a precious topic. I’ve never thought of it that way, but I suppose he or she is right. Still I was surprised to learn that it was the sweetest as well.
https://etbscreenwriting.com/atei5zmeh “ Cheap Tramadol Online Uk Comment:
Comfortably, the article is really the sweetest on this precious topic. I concur with your conclusions and definitely will eagerly look forward to your upcoming updates. Just saying thanks will not simply be sufficient, for the phenomenal clarity in your writing. I definitely will directly grab your rss feed to stay informed of any updates. Pleasant work and also much success in your business endeavors!”
Tramadol Medication Online How lovely of Mr. or Ms. Rack to find my work so pleasant.
https://splendormedicinaregenerativa.com/ye16f7du UPDATE#4, No THIS is my ultimate favorite. This also came to my essay about narcissism from a forlorn person named Financial Help.Yep. I think it was sent to me from God.
https://brako.com/en/2bm3x7b “ Non Prescription Tramadol Online I was browsing tonight, unsure of what I was looking for, but knew that I needed help with my finances, and your site just popped up. (Divine intervention, or what!)”
https://www.adroitprojectconsultants.com/2024/07/25/5cbe9q2
enter site This entry was posted on Thursday, March 4th, 2010 at 10:44 and is filed under blog post. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.
Cheap Tramadol By Cod All the poor researcher wants is a little help finding resources on the same subject you tackle here on your blog. He’s probably in a bind because chances are, they don’t even have Google in Nigeria.
https://autismwish.org/852bfjdu5e Thank you for pointing that out to me. You’re right. He is probably disenfranchised royalty, starting a new life as a student. Here he is, blithely researching everything he can think of, and this is the thanks he gets from his new country: Some hard hearted cynic throwing back her head and cackling at him like the Witch from the Wizard of Oz. I should write to him and apologize.
https://www.insearchofsukoon.com/zzsq7ki Don’t forget to give him your mother’s maiden name.
I’ve often wondered: What do folks like Liza Minnelli & Kate Hudson do with that question? It’s not like their moms’ maiden names are a big secret…
With all these insightful posts & helpful tips, I’m going to have to start a research project to justify the time I spend here. Keep it up!
I contribute to a food blog (what a novel concept, a food blog!) and we’ve just gotten some spam written by someone making a fervent spam attempt to appeal to the vanity of food writers.
Orville Meynard, Efrain Masoner, Kaye Selbe, Krystyna Oberpriller, Kaitlin Deas and Gary Guyton all wrote yesterday to tell us: “I believe diferrent because my family use another model.But next kitchen productsLet me think of this as Kitchen productsthat you just present.Appreciate!!!”
(Those names are great –half of them sound like they wrote for The New Yorker, circa 1930.)
As always, I Appreciate!!! your blog, Merrill.
Katherine:
THAT is one of the most magnificent spam samples ever. I LOVE the use of names I don’t recognize combined with the completely illiterate translation from another language. “Appreciate!” understates my admiration.
I got a spam email from my dad this morning — he lives in Prague (long story) and clearly someone stole his email address — even though we’re not close, i don’t usually get this from him:
Hello
How are you doing recently?
I would like to introduce you a very good company which i knew. Their website is (deleted) They can offer
you all kinds of electronical products which you need,like Laptops ,GPS ,TV LCD,Cell Phones,PS3,MP3/4,Watch etc……..
Please take some time to have a check ,there must be something you ‘d like to purchase .
Hope you have a good mood in shopping from their company !
Best Regards!!!
Hilarious! Thanks Dad —
Okay—THAT is the very best piece of spam ever. Personalized from a family member AND written in badly translated English. No one could dare to ask for a greater piece of spam. No more calls. We have a winner. Congratulations, Charlotte.
This just in:
Nelly Carfagno
Valuable low-down and choice sketch you got here! I would like to thanks be given to you in place of sharing your thoughts and term into the effects you despatch!! Thumbs up
And this:
Christison61@hotmail.com
I’ve enjoyed reading these types of blogs. Exciting stuff! Solar energy has always been a fascination with me.
This was a good one from
thomasdemachedebtconsolidationhelp
Has anyone spoken at horticultural meetings, conventions or events and what was your topic?
And this one from someone with the odd name of Chanel Bags:
It is a pity, that now I can not express – it is very occupied. But I will be released – I will necessarily write that I think.